shake my fucking head.

I dont even know what to write anymore. Niggas are so sneaky, like to take my words & bump it like its theirs.

smh.

heartless-- kanye west

Heartless from kwest on Vimeo.

amazing.

cuffing season.

Tis the season to be Cuffing; la la la la la la la la la.

It sucks to be single this time of year. Everyone is linking up for the winter & I feel like the fat kid left behind in gym class. Dont get me wrong; I have my options but I'm not interested in Corn E. Assnigga, or Blasto D. Past. -sigh-.

how could you be so heartless

finally mastered.

is it just me or does it sound just like love lockdown.

i mean its addictive; but im only fairly impressed.

-shrugs-

Slug of Atmosphere.

Whoever Lucy is...She's a bitch for breaking Slug's heart. LOL

I've heard this track many times before but considering I've been upset & love-sick...wait no SICK OF LOVE. This song makes me scream FUCK YOU LUCY at the top of my lungs. & Lucy is everyman I've ever dated.

Jazmine Sullivan- Bust Your Windows

I bust the windows out ya car
And no it didn't mend my broken heart
I'll probably always have these ugly scars
But right now I don't care about that part

I bust the windows out ya car
After I saw you laying next to her
I didn't wanna but I took my turn
I'm glad I did it cause you had to learn

I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel, when you saw it
I didn't know that I had that much strength
But I'm glad you see what happens when

You see you just can't play with people's feelings
Tell them you love them and don't mean it
You'll probably say that it was juvenile
But I think that I deserve to smile
ha ha ha ha ha

I bust the windows out ya car
You know I did it cause I left my mark
Wrote my initials with the crowbar
And then I drove off into the dark

I bust the windows out ya car
You should feel lucky that that's all I did
After five whole years of this bullshit
Gave you all of me and you played with it

Oooh ahh...
I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel when you saw it
I didn't know that I had that much strength
But I'm glad you see what happens when...

You see you can't just play with people's feelings
Tell them you love them and don't mean it
You'll probably say that it was juvenile
But I think that I deserve to smile

but it dont comfort....
But it don't comfort to my broken heart
You could never feel how I felt that day
Until it happens baby you don't know pain

Oooh Yeah I did it (Yeah I did it)
You should know it (You should know it)
I ain't sorry (I ain't sorry)
You deserved it (You deserved it)

After what you did to me (After what you did)
You deserved it (You deserved it)
I ain't sorry (I ain't sorry)
no no oh... (I ain't sorry)

You broke my heart
So I broke ya car
You caused me pain (You caused me pain)
So I did the same

Even though all that you did to me was much worse
I had to do something to make you hurt yeah
Oh but why am I still cryin'?
Why am I the one whose still cryin'?

Oh oh you really hurt me baby
You really you really hurt me baby
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
hey hey hey hey
now watch me yua
now watch me ha ha ha

I bust the windows out ya car

all good things must come to an end...

But great things tend to repeat themselves. You can move away gracefully from the past and continue towards your future but if something from your past presents itself it must be for a reason, right? There's of course a 50-50 chance that it's for the good or for the worse. Depending on what it is you make that judgment when it presents itself. I see it as God giving you another chance to use this opportunity to your full advantage. I hate using God as a personal reference because there's so many things about religion that I am against but in this particular situation, it just makes sense to me.

I remember when a time of my life was coming to an end & everyone felt like my situation was "The RocaFella Break Up" all over again.

I prepare for certain things but sometimes you just need to take a deep breath & roll with the punches.

Just like Roc la Familia, it may be over but it was a great fucking ride & if there was talk of a reunion....I ain't mad at it. (metaphorically speaking of course for the delayed)

friends are over-rated

They lie, front, put boyfriends/girlfriends before you, steal, have nasty attitudes, greedy, jealous, & over all just stink.

I love life but the people in it make me want to empty a clip.

Lil' Penny

quick update.

A lot has been happening in my life. There's some Good, some Bad & some very Ugly.
But I'll be good though... "The Strong move quiet & the weak start riots."


I was in soho on Friday with my friend Tiffany & walked past Sunglass Hut. I saw him. I felt a deep pain in my chest. Felt like I saw a ghost. I regret. I regret a lot. -sighs- Sorry I hurt you.

That's all for now I suppose.

Luda!

Bitches acting brave.

It's hilarious. I nearly piss myself everytime. Bitches should be comedians. You bust out a few thug verses on your away messages and I'm suposed to be scared? If you really banged like that, then why aren't I bodied yet? I'll tell you why!!!! Because ya pump koolaid thru your veins. I don't want my x man back. I wouldn't have left him if I knew I wanted to stay and make shit work. You should buy me a damn gift if anything. Thank my ass for giving you an oppurtunity to get with him. God knows you need all the help you can get (Jesus dont like ugly so he must hate you). Stop crying to him about how he talking to me again! You shouldve known by now he aint gonna stop. Dumb broads. You and your whole crew is lame bumpin your rah rah shit.

Buff Cock.

It's a Love/Hate Relationship.

I've already let it go...

The Day I almost died

Ok perhaps the title of this post is a bit dramatic but I was in a car accident today. My neck & whole right side is extremelyu sore thanks to Dilan's Car Seatbelts being well functioning.

Fucking prick came outta nowhere!!!!

Anyway, that kinda made up my friday: Arbys, Flushing Avenue Car Crash, 911, Dad, IcyHot.

Pillow-Talk

I woke up this morning feeling great. I'm not quite sure why but I won't analyze it. My x-boyfriend Andy passed by yesterday night. It was interesting to see him. He's losing a lot of weight and that's great for him. He's with some girl from Massachusetts. He used to complain about the drive from Hoboken, NJ to Brooklyn. Now he's driving from Jersey to Springfield, MA?! LOL. People do crazy things in the name of love man, don't I know it.


I sometimes look back at the decisions I've made and reconsider how I went about things and if I could do it again how I would've done it differently. I'm sorry I hurt you*. That's all I can say. I didn't know what to do. How do you tell someone who loves you more than anyone has ever loved you that you don't feel the same. It's impossible.

I've been talking to someone from my past again. I don't know what to think of it. I just don't know...

Dilan is great. There's just something about him.

Anyway, I'm off to start my day.

Never meant to cause you no pain ; but it looks like I did it again

Exactly how I feel.



Phil Collins _ I wish it would rain down

You know I never meant to see you again
and I only passed by as a friend
All this time I stayed out of sight
I started wondering why

Now I, I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me now
Oh, I wish it would rain down, down on me
Oh, Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me

You said you didn't need me in your life
Oh, I guess you were right, Yeh
Oh, I never meant to cause you no pain
But it looks like I did it again

Now I, I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me now
Oh, I wish it would rain down, down on me
Oh, Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me

Though your hurt is gone, mines hanging on, inside
And I know it's eating me through every night and day
I'm just waiting on your sign

'Cos I know, I know I never meant to cause you no pain
And I realize I let you down
But I know in my heart of hearts
I know I'm never gonna hold you again

Now I, I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me now
Oh, I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me

Just rain down on me, Just let it rain down
Let it rain down, Let it rain down, Oh Yeh
Let it rain down, Rain down on me,
Just let it rain down, Just let it rain down,
Let it rain down, Just let it rain ...

I'm Sick & Tired

what the fuck?

Why do people assume I'm talking about them; when I'm really not. My last Blog entry "Some bitches never learn" was directed to my friend Patricia. She knows it and I know it.

If I have nothing to say to you then that is exactly what I do. I say nothing to you.

-shrugs-

Anyway;



"It's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and uh, look where that got you. I just did what I do best. I took your plan and I turned it on itself."

I do whats best for me, I always worried about how everyone else would perceive me but I was born alone & I'm dying alone, unless of course Roxanne & I do that Dare Devil bungee shit again at Six Flags Great Adventure and plummet to our death.

the pain ive endured.

Every so often I come across his picture; our pictures & I can't even cry. Its an emptiness i feel. It's almost like my whole body becomes weak from my legs to my fingertips. I think about the times I was actually happy with him, then i recall the pain I've endured being with him. He never really loved me and I'm convinced of that. For a year I spent my life idolizing him. I was in love with the way he spoke to me. He made me feel good. But all that makes you feel good isn't really good for you. I learned that the hard way. I literally left everything I knew for him. I see his private Myspace page every so often. I know he's with her now; who knows if they're happy. I laugh thinking that maybe he'll treat her the same. She's quite shady herself for pretending to be a friend. I'm still waiting for the day that we cross paths; God is my witness ma it won't be pretty. I shouldnt care; and I dont think this is me caring but growing from it. I know now better than I did before what I'm worth. Never will I lose myself in finding someone else.

Thank you for showing me that I'm better off without you.

btw im happily taken by a man who deserves me.

home sweet borough

Is that Viva La Cool? Yea; Toby Grimm is my nigga.

Dedication

Happy 21st Birthday to my dearest friend Mayra Minette Perez. Now that we are both 21; how about this weekend we hit up Angels & Kings? I'm just saying let's get you Liquored up and make some bad decisions.

TPain ft Teddy Verseti -- Church

Be Serious; It's Not That Serious.

Suddenly everyone has a blog. I dont have a problem with that. Do what you will with your time. The thing thats bothering me is....Everyone is taking shit too seriously.

I read peoples blogs & their entries & they just try way too hard. Babies its blogspot; you are not getting paid. You are not going to get discovered for your opinions on relationships because guess what....nobody gives a damn.

I do this because it kills time; & its fun.

So stop taking yourself so damn seriously. You are 17-19; you drink starbucks; smoke ciggarettes; & portray yourself as such an unique individual on the internet.

GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELVES. Drink a capri sun; play uno; go jogging. Something.

Some Bitches Never Learn

As God is my witness; I will never advise another chick. I'm not going to go in detail but I try to warn a girl about a nigga that I KNOW FOR A FACT HE TAKES NOT A 1 BITCH SERIOUSLY. & What does she do? Wipe her ass with my words. I dont say shit to people so when I do actually have input; its for a reason. If he plays her like I know he will I guarantee tears. Well Cry Shorty because Those waterworks could have been prevented. -shrugs-

I can post a list of niggas I know that arent boyfriend material.

ANYWAY

My day is pretty slow.

I chilled with lenny the other night, OH how i miss that shunuvabish.

Here are some pictures...






I'll update later

eight13dub?

what the fuck?

Jockin' Jay-Z

Oh my fucking God! Can we say Jazo just wet herself. I dont know how to explain the feeling I got when I heard this. Hov baby you making me proud.



btw.

I'm going to see Pineapple Express tomorrow; &
Sunday I'm going to have a picnic w| my long lost love Patty Mayonaise :]

Some Shit.

I want to go to florida before august is over; im determined.


Umm yea Im returning to college; everyone is happy about that.

I want to go to cheeburger cheeburger tonight.


Some People I want to see this weekend: Natalyyyyyy; Patriciaaa; & [your name here]

Ahmir -- I'm Out [Take A Bow Cover] censored.

memories dont live like people do.

Dating Myself by Poetri

the nine

The songs of my life. I'd rather have 9 instead of 10. For many reasons; one of which it being my favorite number. Others too deep to explain.

1. Nas-- Getting Married.

"This ain't no sucka for love shit / This ain't no Huxtable kisses and hug shit, first night we fuck shit / And don't call the next day, this a thug's wedding day / In love? will we make it? Let us pray..."

truly my ideal wedding song.

2. Jay-Z -- Soon You'll Understand

"But still when your boyfriend ditched you, life's a bitch you cried / Over my right shoulder I told you to wipe your eyes / Take your time when you likin a guy / Cause if he sense that your feelings too intense, it's pimp or die"

line after line i related to not only him but to the female he was speaking to.

"Gina; please don't love me."

3. DMX-- What These Bitches Want

"I fuck with these hoes from a distance /The instant they start to catch feelings / I start to stealin they shit / Then Im out just like a thief in the night / I sink my teeth in to bite / You thinkin life, Im thinkin more like - whassup tonight?"

4. Lost Boyz -- Renee

"Hey man, I never been in love / But everytime Im burstin in and outta state / Its shorty that Im thinking of"

pure fucking poetry.

5. Raekwon -- Ice Cream

"Caramel complexion, breath smellin like cinnamon / Excuse me hon, the Don mean no harm, turn around again / God damn, backyard's bangin like a Benz-yIf I was jiggy, you'd be spotted like Spudz McKenzie"

6. Raekwon-- Wisdom Body

"Peace, excuse me, allow to introduce myself / Yo, I’m the man, and honey, you’ve been rated top shelf / Yo, what’s your name hon, hair wrapped up in a bunYour eyes sparkle, just like glass in the sun / Never diss em, it’s hard for a nigga just to miss em / Especially, when you’re browsin, goin fishin / Your wasteline, bangin like a bassline / Physical form is well complexed / And yo, I love your outline, boo / Your whole body is wild, wit your rugged profile / Enough to make a hard rock smile"

7. Masta Ace feat Jean Grae -- Hold You

"Now I spend most of my time just being with you / early on I was afraid to be seen with you / cuz I knew cats would do anything they could / to stop us from being together, its all good /they was mad cuz I got you and they didn'tsome even tried to approach me I'm not kidding"

8. Immortal Technique -- Obnoxious

"throw your gang sign up, and then I'll spit on my hand / give me a hundred grand, give me your watch, give me your chain / that's your girl, bitch get over here, give me some brain / I'll bust of on her face, and right after the segment / she'll propably rub it in her pussy, trying to get herself pregnant"

9. Lauryn Hill -- I Used To Love Him

"Torn and confused wasted and used / Reached the crossroad which path would I choose / Stuck and frustrated I waited, debated / For something to happen that just wasnt fated / Thought what I wanted was something I needed / When momma said no I just should have heeded / Misled I bled till the poison was gone / And out of the darkness arrived the sweet dawn"

Camera Happy.

Great Day

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blabbles

loooooook. i hate this picture but u can kinda see my new nose ring! eeeeeek,. i never thought in a million years id get that pierced. but i kinda like it. oh & that nigga issac mizrahi makes nice shades.

i didnt go to work today...long story. but yea hopefully tomorroww will be better.

payday is friday & i got alottttt of plans for that check.

:]

more holes?!

Yes! I got my nose pierced last night!
I thought "FUCK IT LETS GO!"
It hurt like a bitch though!
Thanks True Blue Tattoo Guy.
YOU WERE AWESOME!


tomorrow night...sizzlers w| my favorite person. :]

hott ass day

&& im sitting here on my grandma's balcony w| some famO waiting for Dilan to pick me up. :D
<33

i deadass drank like 3 cans of this already...


im officially addicted.

estelle is the shit.

this song is just absolutely fabulous! ;]

change is good.

Suprisingly everything is great. I havent really gotten the chance to update this page. Or even be on myspace. Ive been working & enjoying my summer.

Love is patient :]

& Im finding more people that deserve my time.

Tonight I'm going to Dilans Basketball game. ;]

Im his personal cheerleader!
muahs!

&&& um lets see,

weds & thurs are kelvin's days. on some do not distrub shit lol.

friday is Jimmys BBQ ;]

&& Saturday maybe splish splash but definately Dinner with Dilan @ Sizzlers. ;]

Back to Work Monday! I love my job.

Im going to be certified by this september! woohoo.

<333

I was down for a minute but Im back & better than ever, verdad.

last of an ever dying breed; perhaps.

What the fuck is up with bitches? LOL I know I seem to always incorporate my hate for females in just about every entry somehow, but its true. I dont understand girls. I enjoy being behind the scenes. I like the fact that I've been living in my neighborhood for my whole life & hardly anyone knows my name. All people can say is..."I think Ive seen her before" or "I think she knows BLANK". I see a handful of chicks going hard for this so called fame. All these chicks is really doing is stirring up a big batch of drama. One moment you a nobody; you meet 1 person whom is quite popular; you become the bitches right hand; people start to recognize you; you go to clubs; you drink til your liver is screaming; niggas become interested more than before; they thirsty to chill with you; throw a few sly words in ur ear... like Joell Ortiz said "...a million pick up lines to get these fresh hoes laughing"; you drop those panties; you get knocked up; & now you either have an abortion & keep smuttin around or you go on a hiatus for 9 months; come back with you mommy gut & hit the clubs again. smh. whats sad is that its so predictable.

well enough ranting.
I just hate seeing all this foolishness around me.
Have a little more respect for yourselves ladies.

Or is it all a dream.

Its crazy how I may be in love with my imagination. Because the perfect guy was all in my mind.

I kind of think that I am in love with the idea of being in love. Which isnt very uncommon but highly unfortunate. I need to love me first....I thought I did but I guess after all my expierences I think its just best for me to be alone & be happy with that.

no Jigga & B. for me. Just Jazo. Thats my motto for life. Aint nobody can treat me better than I treat my self & thats word.

My patience is running short. -shrugs-

updates later.

This is for the Timbs & Coconut Icees.

My mindstate is green. All I want is money. I can't possibly go on living this life with all these silly bitches. I hate females for real. They worse than niggas. Remember the movie "The Lil Rascals". They had that club called the he-Man Woman Haters...that was fucking genius. I'd be the one bitch down with that movement. My moms a bitch, My grandmas a bitch, My aunts a bitch, My cousins are bitches. Anyway back to the money right. I wish shit can just fast forward. I know everything takes time but dammit I cant deal with this shit anymore. I need my apartment to be renovated already so i can move the fuck in. I need my classes to start so I can get paid. I need my car. Every single thing has steps & if I take the Elevator I'm liable to get stuck on my way to the top; so I need to stop bitching control myself & take those stairs; I'll get there eventually.

Love is Shit. A fucking Job is what it is. No matter how much you work on it; it dont mean shit unless the other person is doing their part. Sick of the feens. Niggas wanna spit G to me thinking they papi champuuus & baja panties. SMFH. I'm not impressed with your compliments. I dont want to go to a movie with you. I dont want to talk to you on the phone. The most i give these niggas is myspace comments but once I log off its done. I aint gonna be you summer love. I aint gonna kiss you. I just want you niggas to know I am not WITH IT!!!! So give up pleaseeeee. Dont take this as a challenge because I guarentee the fact that I'm saying this shit just tickles your peaches & makes you want to push harder. UGH.

Anyway; Summertime<333 I like to wear timbs in this weather. A nice crisp white tee, Shades, jean shorts & a pair of wheat timbs. My hair curly & fro-tastic. Sitting on the sidewalk slurpin icees. I really am anticipating this season.

btw... Nicki Minaj is my bitch.

All that glitters isn't Gold.

First & foremost I'd like to say FUCK YOU to everyone concerning themselves with my relationship. Females are so maniuplative its sickening. I know the scheme boo boo; thanks for offerin your shoulder for me to cry on but I know meanwhile youre kicking the mean G. Trust me I know. Well I've said enough.I hate bitches.

NEXT!

I'm at my mother's house listening to music & I keep playing the same song over & over again. Feel this way-- Consequence featuring John Legend. I'm not really a fan of Consequence because I've witnessed him perform at an event I attended & it was basura!!!



I painted my fingernails pink.... out of pure boredom. So now when I give you feens the birdie ya got something pretty to look at.

Fabolous.

I'll update later.